Social media is like that one overly opinionated friend who subtly and sometimes not so subtly tries to convince you they know you better than you know yourself.
While you can block that friend, you can’t exactly ghost the social media apps lurking on your phone’s home screen without spiraling into a FOMO-induced meltdown.
These platforms don’t just reflect who we are; they quietly shape who we think we are, all while we scroll, double-tap, and share content we barely think twice about.
It starts so casually. You’re doom-scrolling at 2 a.m., cackling at a meme about being the “always late” friend. You laugh, hit like, maybe tag someone who fits the bill even more than you. Simple, harmless, relatable, right? Except, now the algorithm thinks it’s cracked your personality code. Suddenly, your feed becomes a jumble of memes about flakiness. Your explore page will be filled with reels about how chronically late people are the funniest, and posts about why punctuality is overrated. It’s funny at first until you notice you’re running five minutes late to every plan and jokingly blaming it on your “brand.”
The Feedback Loop of Self-Identity
What makes this even more insidious is how easily we internalize it. Algorithms don’t just reflect what we engage with, they amplify it to the point where it feels like an unavoidable truth.
Are You Really That Reserved or Did Social Media Decide That for You?
Think about it. You like content about being an introvert, so they show you more. The more you see, the more you relate, and the more you start building your identity around it. Before long, you’re saying things like, “Well, as an introvert, I just don’t like parties,” even though six months ago you were the life of every party you went to. But are you actually an introvert? Or did your favorite meme pages plant that idea in your head?
The Gaslighting Game
This isn’t entirely our fault, though. Algorithms are designed to do this. They thrive on creating connections, sometimes real, sometimes made-up, between the content we consume and who we are.
They’re trained to keep us engaged, and the easiest way to do that is to feed us content that feels deeply personal. The problem is, when you’re exposed to the same themes over and over again, it stops feeling like “just content” and starts feeling like reality.
You’re Not a Reel, You are Real!!
But the thing is, you’re not a meme or a reel. You’re a complex, ever-evolving human being who can’t be summed up by a single hashtag or caption. Social media doesn’t know you; it knows your patterns.
It knows what you pause on, what you click, and what you share. And it uses that data to guess who you are, then gaslights you into thinking it’s right.
Stepping Outside the Algorithm’s Echo Chamber
The real danger lies in how subtle this process is. Social media doesn’t just tell you who you are; it makes you feel like you discovered it yourself. It blurs the line between “this is relatable” and “this is me,” and once that line is crossed, it’s hard to go back. You start narrating your life through the lens of the content you consume, fitting yourself into the archetypes the algorithm feeds you.
Solution?
For starters, we can step back and question the narrative. The next time you catch yourself saying, “Wow, this is so me!” after watching a reel or laughing at a meme, pause. Ask yourself — “is it really, or is the algorithm just really good at its job?”
Because here’s the truth, you’re not your explore page. You’re not your saved memes or your most-watched reels. You’re allowed to consume content without letting it define you. You’re allowed to laugh at a meme without making it your entire personality.
Remember: The only thing Instagram should control is how much time you waste scrolling and not who you are!!
So Scroll Mindfully!
