Social media is like that one overly opinionated friend who subtly and sometimes not so subtly tries to convince you they know you better than you know yourself.
While you can block that friend, you can’t exactly ghost the social media apps lurking on your phone’s home screen without spiraling into a FOMO-induced meltdown.
These platforms don’t just reflect who we are; they quietly shape who we think we are, all while we scroll, double-tap, and share content we barely think twice about.
It starts so casually. You’re doom-scrolling at 2 a.m., cackling at a meme about being the “always late” friend. You laugh, hit like, maybe tag someone who fits the bill even more than you. Simple, harmless, relatable, right? Except now, all ofa sudddenly, your feed becomes a jumble of memes about flakiness. Your explore page will be filled with reels about how chronically late people are the funniest, and posts about why punctuality is overrated. It’s funny at first until you notice you’re running five minutes late to every plan and jokingly blaming it on your “brand.”
But are you actually flacky? Or did your favorite meme pages plant that idea in your head?
The Feedback Loop of Self-Identity
What makes this even more insidious is how easily we internalise it. Algorithms don’t just reflect what we engage with, they amplify it to the point where it feels like an unavoidable truth.
This isn’t entirely our fault, though. Algorithms are designed to do this. They thrive on creating connections(real or made-up), between the content we consume and who we are.
They’re trained to keep us engaged, and the easiest way to do that is to feed us content that feels deeply personal. The problem is, when you’re exposed to the same themes over and over again, it stops feeling like “just content” and starts feeling like reality.
But the thing is, you’re not a meme or a reel. You’re a complex, ever-evolving human being who can’t be summed up by a single hashtag or caption. Social media doesn’t know you but it knows your patterns.
It knows what you pause on, what you click, and what you share. And it uses that data to guess who you are, then gaslights you into thinking it’s right.
The real danger lies in how subtle this process is. Social media blurs the line between “this is relatable” and “this is me,” and once that line is crossed, it’s hard to go back. You start narrating your life through the lens of the content you consume, fitting yourself into the archetypes the algorithm feeds you.
So, What do We do?
For starters, we can step back and question the narrative. The next time you catch yourself saying, “Wow, this is so me!” after watching a reel or laughing at a meme, pause. Ask yourself this : “is it really, or is the algorithm just really good at its job?”
Because you’re allowed to consume content without letting it define you. You’re allowed to laugh at a meme without making it your entire personality.
Remember: The only thing social media should control is how much time you waste scrolling and not who you are!!
So Scroll Mindfully!